Five Minute Friday : Broken
by lisha epperson
broken. this word. ugly. not good enough. useless. deformed. waves of words that threatened to overtake me as I fell naked into the river of infertility. How could I be beautiful and broken at the same time. I wrote a piece a few months ago called “The Broken Doll”. My infertility made me feel like a lovely packaged doll , who upon closer inspection revealed imperfections – irregularities. Something was wrong. She was no good. And neither was I. The lone egg in the carton that will be discarded. Broken. My infertility made me feel broken.
I have to be honest I fought this feeling for a long time. Rather I believed this lie for years. Adopting my first daughter made me feel beautiful again. Something about the way she sort of magically appeared in our lives – when we weren’t expecting it, or looking for it, was beautiful to me. That beautiful moment stayed with me. Holding, loving and being mama to this precious girl washed away the ugly suit I’d been wearing. I realized then, and even more so now that my brokenness made me beautiful. I was never perfect and will never be but the imperfections and scars – the wearing of life on my soul, my very person, made me stronger, wiser , bolder and more beautiful than ever. In my brokenness I saw Him and He drew me closer. I recognized His complete surrender in having been broken for me. In my pain…I fully accepted… His. In my brokenness He healed, restored and repaired. He lovingly left little beauty marks of remembrance (scars) lest I forget, lest I need proof of the work He’s done. Because of these scars, I am ready for service.
Broken is no longer ugly – broken is free to be used.
I am challenging myself this week and have linked up with Lisa-Jo Baker (lisajobaker.com)and friends for Five Minute Fridays …this post took me 10 minutes to write and by the time I placed pictures another 10 had gone by but I really wanted to be a part of the fun this week. will work harder to stay within time limits.. How do you guys do it?